ronnKine

BEVERLY HILLS 9021-HO! - I can rhyme, too ! 9021-NO ! See ?

21 HUMP STREET - let me guess, starring Johnny Deep ?

I SAW MOMMY EATING SANTA CLAUS - which caused the severe childhood trauma which led to a lifetime of doing nothing but watch pornos …

SPERMS OF ENDEARMENT - Chick flick.

INDIANA JOAN AND THE BLACK HOLE OF MAMMOO - Six thousand years of human civilization and that’s the best you could come up with ?

SHAVING RYAN’S PRIVATE - It’s a gay film. I did not include any gay titles because they always make me giggle or extremely uncomfortable, and it would have doubled the number of titles I would have had to sort through. I am not gonna open the floodgates …

EDWARD PENISHANDS - Everybody recommends this one. As I said above, it pops up on everybody else’s Best Porn Movie Title list because it is actually an awesome title.

DUDE, WHERE’S MY DILDO? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA MILKMAIDS - Oh, let me guess — this is an art film ?

BUMPIN DONUTS - Uh, which body part is the donut again ?

MAY THE FORESKIN BE WITH YOU - Geek ! *cough cough*

WILLIE WANKER AND THE FUDGE PACKING FACTORY - Your fantasy life is sad.

E-THREE THE EXTRA TESTICLE - There is SO much wrong with this one …

TITALLICA - MASTER OF PUPPIES - Puppies ? Puppies ?!!

TOPLESS BRAIN SURGEONS - No, I want you concentrating on my BRAIN during the operation …

SHE’S NOT A LESBIAN … SHE’S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh …

MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming …

TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie ??? You’re just making up words now.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky …

GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won’t be it.

ASS-HOLE O MIO - You’ve got to be kidding.

HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.

WET AND FROSTY - Are you talking about sex or beer ?

“Howdy org Bali? Udah tan skr?” - Julian
“Ron, lo dah nyampe kan, gw was was hehehe..” - Mey
“Ron, dah dibdg loe..? Glen ada gratisan ga? Sunan ngajak ktemuan….” - Yusak
“ron g mw brangkat and mw kerja d bdg. gmn dong.. T O L O N G” - Kodok
“Ron, ntar mlm jam10an gw bole ikut nunggu dkosan lo ga? Ato lo telp dr kantor khp gw yg smpt dong. Pulsa gw abis bgt euy. Yah yah yah! Plis dah!” - Pandu
“blum! tampak allstars gt! liat previewnya sih! lumayan! lo mw nonton? ehem pulang dr bali nih?” - Kasep
“Ron lu mau gw jmpt ap gmn? gw di majesty tmp lae, almt lu dmn? qt ke cafe happening dago aj, gmn?” - Sunan
“Lg dimana r? mo ketemu.. ” - 085610xxxx2
“Ron, kok ga jd kemadura? btw cr tema dunk buat foto hari minggu ntar..yg sekiranya ga perlu modal baju lg hehehe.. teng2″ - Mey
“Aku tdnya kan heran knp si ariel tuh dgila2 amat, trnyata suaranya emang touchy. Anyway, tampang sih tetep.. cm sdikit lbh cakep dr Parto” - Mamanya Ken

Sebenernya hari ini gw berencana konsentrasi menyelesaikan artikel-artikel yang kemarin sempat tertunda secepatnya. Tapi begitu denger alunan suara serak Sheryl Crow dari speaker salah satu co-worker yang melantunkan:

“Darling, I’m killed, I’m in a puddle on the floor, Waiting for you to return
Oh, what a thrill, Fascinations galore, How you tease
How you leave me to burn. It’s so deadly, my dear… “

Tangan gw yang sedianya sedang melompat-lompat diatas keyboard komputer menyusun kata demi kata dalam artikel, tiba-tiba berpindah ke mouse dan membuka halaman ini. Yups, sounds ridiculous n nutz… but here i am and my Top 10 James Bond’s Soundtracks:

1. For Your Eyes Only, from For Your Eyes Only
by: Sheena Easton
2. Tomorrow Never Dies, from Tomorrow Never Dies
by: Sheryl Crow
3. You Only Live Twice, from You Only Live Twice
by: Nancy Sinatra
4. A View to A Kill, from A View to A Kill
by: Duran Duran
5. The World is Not Enough, from The World is Not Enough
by: Garbage
6. License to Kill, from License to Kill
by: Gladis Knight
7. We Have All The Time In The World, from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
by: Louis Armstrong
8. Live and Let Die, from Live and Let Die
by: Paul McCartney & Wings
9. All Time High, from Octopussy
by: Rita Coolidge
10.Diamonds are Forever, from Diamonds are Forever
by: Shirley Bassey

Though it’s too late (in my standard)… finally i got the chance to watch Mr. Potter on last Sunday (after queueing from 2 pm for 7 pm show)

And for those ho havent watched it, sorry guys but i want to spill lil bit of Goblet of Fire here, coz there are some bothering things crumbling in my head when i watched the movie. But before you scroll down let me tell you sumthin’ : THIS IS THE BEST AND MOST HILLARIOUS OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE AND I LOVE IT A LOT WHEN I FELT THE THRILLING SENSATION DURING THE MOVIE

Well the first is of course Miss Watson a.k.a Hermione Granger. What’s with her Mega-Utami-over-acting style? (FYI, Mega Utami is a lil girl who always cry and act not-her-age in every sinetron she played). I think that’s just too much, but i still love her in that pink ballgown.

Next … the story moves so fast from scene to scene. It’s kinda disturbing when you’re expecting some dancing Veelas in Quidditch Olympics or giant Sphinx in the maze/labyrinth ….but you didnt find them. But then again, i understand becoz i believe it’s so hard to press that thick book into a 2hrs30 film.

Above all… I love this movie, love most of the cast (ashtoning performance by Ralph Fiennes as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named), love the English director, love the story.

To give more fun (and spoilers) to you who havent watched :P, this is a few copy from my pal Eva’s Site :

MOVIE – BOOK DIFFERENCES

So I call it that way … but it wasn’t just that. I also put some others stuff bout the movie along the way … hehehe can’t resist

The Riddle House
1. Wormtail – Voldermort – Nagini – Barty Crouch Jr.
Okay, first scene. Where the stories still lay in the Riddle House where Wormtail served Voldermort *ooh cut the shrieking* … as far as I remember there’s not even once Barty Crouch Jr. mention that he was in that house. The movie already spoiled the important things of this series from the first scene! What a bad choice!

In Quidditch Word Cup
2. Remember about tent they had for World Cup? I remember that they had separated tent for girls and boys. But the movie showing only one tent for the whole Weasly family. But … the tent was cool …

3. Why do I only see Draco with Lucius – his father only? I thought in World Cup they supposed to show up in three with Narcissa? So, where is she?

4. I’m expecting to see short match of World Cup, but nope. Disappointed I got as for you who expected the same thing as I do. But still, it’s good scene of World Cup. There’s the opening of the game where they introduce Bulgarian and Irish team player. You’ll get excited during this part. Well better than nothing.

5. The game announcer [according to book] was supposed to be Ludo Bagman. But not shown even once! So who’s announcing the game in movie? It was the Ministry of Magic himself!!

Triwizard Trounament
6. Triwizard 2nd task were held underwater.
I remember Dobby is the one who gave Harry the gillyweed but the movie showing that it was Neville who gave Harry the gillyweed. Hah??? (and he’s wearing glasses, mronn)

7. I remembered it quite well that when Harry tried to cast a spell under water he got bubbles coming out of his mouth instead of words. And guess what? In movie you can cast a spell under water!!!

8. And that’s not all; remember in book Harry tried to untied Ron by using a piece of shell? Well, in the movie he just untied him so easily.

9. Triwizard 3rd task was in maze. And I can’t believe there’s no sphinx inside the maze!!! I’m waiting for this part … hiks!!!

10. Remember Patil twins? Remember that they’re both are in different house? But I think I saw them both in Gryffindor common room somewhere in the movie… mm … can we visiting others house common room?

11. Priori Incantatem (The Reverse Spell): I don’t see any vision of Bertha Jenkins here. I thought she was killed by Voldemort too right before Frank Bryce.

12. I don’t really like Dumbledore character in this movie. He seems a bit lunatic and weak at the same time. How come?

13. From my opinion, I think Emma is lil bit over acting in this movie. See several scene like after Yule Ball scene, or the last scene when the Durmstrang leaving.

Eva last comment?
After having seen the entire thing, I could see why summarizing everything was appropriate. They [movie maker] trying so hard to keep this movie under 3 hours long. And it’s 2,5 hours already. If the stories doesn’t summarize like that .. I wonder how long will it be?

How if… one of your biggest dream… Top five in your must-do list, suddenly out of nowhere, beyond your imagination and expectation… voila!! Comes true!

Normal reaction would be: “Alhamdulillah” or “Oh my G-O-D… cant believe it happens!!” or “Aaaaaaaargggh….. what the…!!” or “I knew it… i knew it!” or “Woops… i see that coming!” or “Pinch me… i must be dreaming!”

But do u know what my reaction when such thing happened to me?
“Really?? Like…. this 26? til 27? Alone?!!! Ough…ouwkay”

Yeap….. i’m not too excited knowing one of my dream becoming true. My number 3 on the must-do-list. Well, actually there’s a little excitment… like 40%.
It’s becoz i didnt expect it so soon… it’s just too soon. My plan wud be next year (or else i’m such a looser). ‘Next year’ is equal to ‘not this very year’. So…..
I have no preparation!!!! Beside… end of month for GOD’s sake! and … a day!! ru kidding me or what?

What do you think…. Am i being such an ungrateful jerk?

Ingridients:

- 3 good friends
- 4 hours
- cozy place

        Yups… cuma itu doang kok bahan-bahannya. Gampang kan? Eh
by the way.. ini bukan resep Macaroni Cheese and Meatloaf andalan
gue… Itu semua adalah bahan-bahan yang dibutuhkan kalo kita sedang
"low", sad, dissapointed, gloom, etc..etc.. Well, at least it worked
for me..
        By the time i felt so low (gara-gara Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)… suddenly the merciful
Lord sent me 3 good friends and directed us to a cozy place to hang out
called Oh La La and give the 3 of them 4 hours to spent with me to make
my cloudy day shines again….
        Yeah, selama empat jam itu
gue berhasil melupakan kekecewaan yang cukup bikin down.  gw ngerasa
ada secuil kegembiraan masa-masa kuliah di diri gw. Gw suka masa-masa
kuliah. Punya temen-temen yang sedeket keluarga (mereka ber3
diantaranya). Kayaknya nggak ada beban, isinya kebanyakan ngumpul
berjam-jam ama temen-temen, ketawa-ketiwi gak jelas, gosip, ngobrolin
topik-topik gak penting dan most of it…. share joy!

thnx to Daniel, Mey and Jejep!

TWENTYSOMETHING(Jamie Cullum)

After years of expensive educationa car full of books, and anticipationI'm an expert on Shakespeare, and that's a hell of a lotbut the world don't need scholors as much as I thought

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,finding myself, or start a careeri could work with the poor, though I'm hungry for famewe all seem so different, but we're just the same

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fatall things are easy, with a tight six-packwho knows the answers, who do you trustI can't even separate love from lust

Maybe I'll move back home, and pay off my loans,working nine to five, answering phonesdon't make me live for my friday nights, drinking eight pints and getting in fights

I don't want to get up, just let me lie inleave me alone, I'm a twentysomething

Maybe I'll just fall in love, that could solve it all, philosophers say that that's enoughthere surely must be more, ooh

Love aint the answer, nor is work, the truth deludes me, so much it hurts,but I'm still having fun and I guess that the key,I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep bein' me

I'm a twentysomething, let me lie in, leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething

that's just what i have in mind...... what's next? :: m'ronn :: yang lagi bored, neglected and sleepy... lelaki yang aneh

02:36 am

Rasa bosan yang menusuk sampai ke sendi-sendi dan perasaan neglected yang membuat gw nyesek sehingga dada gw serasa ditindih oleh satu full tim choir (pengandaian yang aneh…) membuat gw hari ini so not in the mood for working (“perasaan tiap hari not in the mood deh, ron!” - kata Eva, co-worker).

So here i am, blogwalking dari satu blogs ke blogs lain, membaca cerita-cerita hidup orang yang berbeda-beda. Ada yang bikin geli, ada yang bikin sedih, ada yang bikin ketawa, ada yang bikin pengen nyela dan ada yang bikin….. “oooooh….”

Nah, di salah satu blogs itu (which is -stupidly- i forget what its name) ada sebaris kalimat yang lumayan melekat di kepala *dan sedikit di hati*, menggelitik sense dan logika gw…. It says “Bel bukan bel kalo ga pernah dibunyikan, Cinta juga bukan cinta kalo orangnya ga tahu”

Emang begitu yah teorinya? Well, kalo gitu…. lo udah tau kan? ga perlu dikasih tau lagi, hehehe…

:: m’ronn - yang hari ini lagi bored, nyesek, garing, laper, mello dan ….. lelaki yang aneh ::

girl·friend (gûrl’frĕnd’) n.:
1. A favored female companion or sweetheart.
2. A female friend.

Di Indonesia, frase girlfriend selalu didefinisikan sebagai ‘pacar’ (yang berjenis kelamin perempuan of course). Kenapa yah? padahal jelas-jelas kalau secara harafiah girl=cewek dan friend=temen, which is menjadi definisi nomor 2.
Jadi kalo ketemu temen lama yang nanya: “Hi ron, gimana? dah ada girlfriend lagi?” gw pasti akan selalu menjawab: “aren’t u my girlfriend, rin?” atau “girlfriend udah nambah lagi, kemaren kenalan sama si Mirta, Sari, Lidya, Angel, dll. Total udah ada puluhan sampai ratusan girlfriend deh in my whole life.”

Gak salah dong jawab kaya gitu. Walaupun gw tau jawaban yang diinginkan pasti kaya: “sibuk gawe nih, gada waktu buat bobogohan” or “Oh, belom gw kasih tau yah? ntar deh gw kenalin sambil dinner, she’s a nice person. You’ll love her. I’ll introduce her to my mom this weekend”

Ngomong-ngomong soal girlfriend definisi kedua, ada untung-ruginya berteman deket dengan perempuan. Coba yah kita liat satu-satu..

Untung:
1. Mostly, they’re smart n rajin. Jadi kalo ada tugas-tugas atau ujian mereka sangat reliable
2. Mostly, mereka rapih dan teliti. Jadi klo ada tugas-tugas bersama atau ujian mereka sangat reliable LOL
3. Mostly, mereka suka jajan. Jadi tiap berada di deket mereka ada aja cemilan. Sangat reliable dalam perjalanan jauh
4. Mostly, they love gossip (so do some guys :). Jadi, sangat reliable untuk info-info terbaru about anything
5. Mostly, they’re a good listener and problem solver. Jadi, sangat reliable dalam hal dicurhati
6. Mostly, mereka suka minta dianterin kemana-mana. that makes me feel great n reliable 7. Mostly, mereka manja. It brings me great feeling klo ada yang manja ke gw, hehehehe, same reason as no.6
8. Mostly, they smell lovely. Kenapa yah? cewek2 itu selalu berbau harum… walau udah berdesak2an di bis sekalipun.
9. Mostly, they cant stand to see a guy friend in need for helps.
10. Mostly, they are so reliable in anything. as a friend, a mum, an escourt, a shoulder to cry on, a security guard, a housekeeper, a partner and of course as a definition-one-girlfriend

Ruginya:
1. Mostly, they wont date a guy whose actually her close friends. 2. Cerewet….. about anything….
3. Mostly, they’re high maintenance (thank God most of my friends are not that kind)
4. They share anything with other girlfriends. From gossip to…….. bath room!!! Weird huh? Kan jadi iri dan pengen… LOL
5. Mostly, mereka ga bisa diajak susah. Terlalu kotor lah, terlalu jauh lah, terlalu rame lah, terlalu ini itu lah… banyak banget pertimbangan
6. Mostly they can spend hours in mall..without buying anything!!
7. …. duh apa lagi yah? kok gak kepikiran…

Ternyata banyakan untungnya dari pada ruginya. That’s why, girlfriends r cool Tapi ada satu hal yang sangat nggak enak jika kita (guy) berteman dekat dengan cewek. Not just once, gw pribadi beberapa kali dicemburui pacar2 mereka…(gw ampe nyaris dihajar pria berbadan besar gara-gara yang satu ini). Itu masih biasa lah… yang gw paling gak suka kalo mereka berantem dan putus dengan pacarnya… Pasti gw yang akan segera diburu oleh pacar-pacar mereka untuk meminta “press release”. Belum lagi kalo 2-2nya temen kita… bagaimanapun kita kan gak bisa 100% netral, tetep ujung-ujungnya berat ke satu pihak.
Nah, kasus gw, udah bbrp kali terjadi. Akhirnya gw lebih berat ke yg cewek, coz however —mengesampingkan kemungkinan bahwa si cewek yang bersalah— gw kenal ama mereka jauh terlebih dahulu daripada pacar2nya. and most of all… They’re my friends, my GIRLFRIEND and they can count on me!

Well guys, ada yang mo nambahin untung/ruginya?

Gw baru minjem buku nih dari kakak gw (setelah gw hasut untuk membelinya….), judulnya The Dante Club. Katanya buku ini bagus, di covernya aja ada tulisan “New York Times Bestseller”. Tapi yang bikin gw tertarik sama buku ini, soalnya ada temen gw yang menjamin, “ron, klo lo suka banget ama The Da Vinci Code, pasti lo bakal suka ama buku ini.” Ya udah, mengingat gw suka bgt The Da Vinci Code dan kebetulan ketika itu gw lagi bokek, gw hasut aja si teteh untuk membeli novel karangan Matthew Pearl (pemuda ini lulusan Harvard dengan nilai yudisium summa cum laude loh!) ini…

Di bonus pembatas bukunya ada kutipan dari Dan Brown (pengarang The Da Vinci Code dan Angel & Demon):
“Matthew Pearl adalah bintang baru yang cemerlang di jagad fiksi—seorang penulis ulet, tangguh, penuh daya cipta, dan amat sangat berbakat. Dengan alur cerita yang canggih, tema-tema klasik, dan karakter-karakter cerdas… Tak ada alasan lagi untuk tidak membaca novel ini!”

Akhirnya… setelah seminggu selesai dibaca, gw berhasil meminjam buku ini dan membawanya ke Bandung. Sorry gw belom bisa cerita banyak, soalnya sekarang gw baru membaca novel berbau sejarah yang melibatkan sastrawan Italy, Dante Alighieri ini sampai halaman 40 (dari 614). So, gw kasih sinopsis singkatnya aja…. ntar klo udah kelar baru gw kasih review ala moronn, LOL.

Boston, 1865. Terjadi serangkaian pembunuhan, yang semuanya diilhami oleh adegan-adegan dalam “Inferno,” dalam Divina Commedia, karya Dante Alighieri (1265-1321 M), sastrawan Italia. Hanya segelintor begawan sastra dan ahli tentang Dante di Amerika kurun awal sajalah—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Oliver Wendell Holmes, James Russel Lowell, dan J.T. Fields—yang sanggup mengungkap dan memecahkan misteri itu. POlisi dibuat terheran-heran. Semakin banyak jiwa yang terancam, dan masa depan karya sastra Dante benar-benar dipertaruhkan. Tak pelak lagi, Klub Dante atau The Dante Club mesti menyoroti kembali eksistensinya, menemukan sang pembunuh, dan sekaligus juga menghentikan aksi pembunuhannya.

Gmn? Menjanjikan nggak?